ComedyCollective Writers Project
Ivan Shakespeare


HOVIS AD PARODY - Good Old Days
(Broadcast on WeekEnding, BBC Radio 4, 16 June 1995)

GRAMS: HOVIS AD VERSION NEW WORLD SYMPHONY-DVORAK

NORTHERN LAD: Ee, I remember as if it were yesterday - well, it were yesterday, matter o'fact - I'd climbed up this great big hill outside our town. View from t' top were like nothing on earth - t' boarded up shops, closed down factories and t' estate wi' t' joyriders doin' handbrake turns. Suddenly I heard a voice ; t' local filth. 'Where's thee off to lad?' 'London.'    'Well, tha'll need thi sandwiches then, price o' things down there. Off to be a rent boy?' 'Aye.'   'Tha'll need plenty o' condoms an' all, this AIDS is rife. And re member to use a fresh syringe whenever thee jacks up.'    I looked up and tears were rolling down his face. 'I'm right sorry for you young folk,' he said. 'Nowt to look forward to. Not even bogus nostalgia when thee grows up.'   I 'ad to admit, he 'ad a point. Price o' butties down 'ere's outrageous.

GRAMS : UP AND OUT.

(ENDS)


All rights reserved by The Ivan Shakespeare Estate . For inquiries about Ivan's  work, please contact his widow Elspeth MacLean through the Writers Guild.


ComedyCollective Writers Project
Ivan Shakespeare